My darling, darling Gellert My joy, my greater good My darling, darling Gellert My joy, my greater good My darling, darling Gellert My downfall and my sorrow

English translation: You are all simply jealous. At Beauxbatons, I slept with all the girls. But then, I met Bill. I am faithful to my husband because I will love that man for the rest of my life. But girls are still sexy - but not Ginny. It's not easy to be a bisexual veela-girl.

Who do you think held him after Gellert was gone Who do you think darned his socks Who do you think bought him all his favorite sherbet lemons And who do you think helped care for Fawkes Who do you think helped him think of passwords for his office Who do you think slept in his bed Who do you think hid him from the Ministry and Fudge Who do you think he wished he could wed Who do you think whispered to him in a wheezy voice Who do you think saw him through his strife Who do you think was his friend from the first day he met him Who do you think was the real love of his life?

Percy forgot her birthday in December It was January before he remembered She asked him what was going on There was no way he knew to tell her Knew he was leaving and he knew that he should Penny didn't know it but Oliver would Knew he was leaving and he knew that he should Penny didn't know it but Oliver would Percy saw him in the corridor Such broad shoulders and thick muscles Strong white teeth and a gorgeous smile So ambitious, so driven, so beautiful Knew what he wanted and he knew that he could Penny didn't know it but Oliver would Knew what he wanted and he knew that he could Penny didn't know it but Oliver would Met him in the prefects' bathroom late one night Everyone else was asleep but their bodies were awake Before Percy knew it, they were making love So breathless, so perfect, so beautiful Knew that he loved him and he knew it was good Penny didn't know it but Oliver would Knew that he loved him and he knew it was good Penny didn't know it but Oliver would

This may surprise you, but Crabbe didn't die He fell in Fiendfyre and started to fry But as he lay there, flames scalding his tush He heard a voice speaking... Like with Moses and the burning bush... When the battle was over, he went to find Goyle He said to him, "Gregory, I nearly boiled. I thought I would die without dating a babe-raham But then I heard the voice of the God of Abraham - He said helping Voldie had blacked our souls' hues And to find His forgiveness, we must become Jews. Just hear me now, Gregory, please don't recoil - I'll be a rabbi, and you'll be a mohel. "We'll put down our broomsticks and study the Torah - Refrain from the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. We'll learn to cook the kosher kind of dragon and guava And marry nice girls named Tzeitel and Chava. So hear me now, Gregory, please don't recoil - I'll be a rabbi and you'll be a mohel." The temple at Hogsmeade received two new members Crabbe dreamed every night of the flames and the embers They learned to speak Hebrew and went through circumcision They analyzed the Torah with depth and precision Draco sneed and he smirked, but he went to the wedding Of Vincent and Hodel - whose fate Goyle was dreading... Once home from their honeymoon, they found a small note - Crabbe started to read it - it said, and I quote, "I'm sorry, Rabbi Crabbe, but I'm not of your ilk - I know I'm a gay Jew, like Harvey Milk. I've taken my yarmulke, tight jeans and Crisco - I'll write to you again when I get to San Francisco." The letter came later: "Dear Vincent, I'm here. I'm cruising the Castro and drinking some beer. Last night I hooked up with Ernie Macmillan And Blaise is here too, we're hangin' and chillin'. I know we've got a debt to the God of Abraham But he never said I couldn't have a male babe-raham. I think that my matzoh is starting to boil - Au revoir, Rabbi Crabbe, from Goyle the Mohel."

I told Mr. Marauder that our album was nearly done I said, "Tell me if there's a ship that you want in it - just give me one. For if you give me more than one, the release will never come to pass." I said, "We'll do just one more ship," And he said AS/S. And then he was all like, "Yeah, Albus Severus/Scorpius is the best ship ever, because it's called AS/S, and that's cool." And I was like, "That's your reason you like it?" and he was like, "Yeah..." And I was like, "Okay, okay, we can do the AS/S ship, if that'll make you so happy..." I think I actually wrote a song about that, right when we started this band, let me just find it...oooh, found it, here it is. Ginny's boy is dating a Malfoy Ginny's boy is dating a Malfoy Ginny's boy is dating a MalfoyGinny's boy is dating a Malfoy Ginny, could I come over to your house today? (house today) I've just found out that our sons are gay (sons are gay) Scorpius is writing letters to your Al (to your Al) I asked him why, and he said that they aren't just pals (aren't just pals) And I know that our families kind of have a feud But it seems that your son doesn't have that attitude... [Chorus] Ginny's boy is dating a Malfoy He loves him true, and it's not just a ploy Ginny, can't you see, they don't think like you and me I know this will annoy, but Al's in love with a Malfoy Ginny, do you remember that day at the train? (at the train) They went to school, and it started to rain (started to rain) They had quarrels daily and they cruelly sneered (cruelly sneered) But they were in love by the start of sixth year (start of sixth year) And I know that you hope their feelings will abate But my son wants to know if I think they should hyphenate [Chorus] Ginny's boy is dating a Malfoy He loves him true, and it's not just a ploy Ginny, can't you see, they don't think like you and me I know this will annoy, but Al's in love with a Malfoy